Category: Child Logic

I am blessed with two children who (heaven help them) seem to think a lot like me.  That is to say, they work to find the logic in life.  In the absence of logic that suits their needs, they invent their own.  Admittedly, most of these come from the 6 year old Owen, but he started blessing us with these little nuggets around age 3.

Just this week, out of the blue, he commented ‘When I get married, I’m going to pick a girl who likes kids.  Cause if she doesn’t, she’ll probably be a terrible mother.’

Hmmmm, while true, I am curious how much time he has spent considering that eventuality.

This is the same child who, since age 3, has decided he will be a paleontologist.  He has actually asked questions about schooling requirements, and has resigned himself to lots and lots of education.  He plans to work in a bakery in college to earn money (and eat ice cream for breakfast, because his dad told him Orange Leaf opens at 11:00 am for college students).  He knows he should study rock climbing, and feels the best vehicle for him will be a Ford Raptor off-road truck.  That’s why he has to work in a bakery – they are expensive.   And why does he want to be a paleontologist?  Well, he loves dinosaurs for one thing, and has for years.  This is the reason I know so much about dinosaurs.  How much you say?  A. Lot.  That’s a post for another day.  A few months ago he amended that plan to say he wanted to be a paleontologist because of the teamwork, and because of ‘no paperwork.’  Why does my 6 year old know what paperwork is, and why does he know it is not a good thing???  My husband and I don’t talk much about work at home.  Well, at least he has a life plan.

His back-up plan is to be a meteorologist.  He loves weather.  He doesn’t understand that other’s don’t always love weather.  When he was 5 and his sister 2, a storm was cooking up, and the wind really started to blow.  Lucy got a little upset and his response was, in his best comforting big-brother voice, ‘Don’t worry Lucy its just wind.  It just knocks down buildings and makes tornados and stuff.’  Very helpful.

I do keep a record of these bits of wisdom, of course.  I was just looking back over them, and found one from the middle of kindergarten, 6 months or so ago.  I had picked Owen up from school, and was asking him how his day was.  They had been playing in the gym in the after-school program, so I asked him what his favorite thing to play was.  His answer? ‘I need suction cups.’  Me: ‘Um, why?’ Owen: ‘I need 4 suction cups so I can climb the walls when we play tag.  Then I can hang from the ceiling and laugh.’

My record stops there, probably because there really is no good response to that.  The root of the problem is that he was a kindergartener, so one of the smallest kids.  Also one of the slowest, so he gets tagged easily.  Instead of asking how to run faster (hint: the answer is to stop worrying about how awesome you look running), this was his solution.

Let’s go back to age 4.  Driving in the car, running errands one morning.  This happened:

Owen: ‘Mom-I need to go poop!’ Me: ‘We’re almost home buddy.’ Owen: ‘Ok, I’ll lock my butt up so he poop doesn’t get out.’. (5 minutes later) Owen: ‘Mom! The poops going to come out!’ Daddy: ‘You said you locked your butt!’ Owen: ‘The poop has the key! It took the key out of my hand!’


On another day, another time, I will share some of the nuggets his little sister has begun dropping about.  Not the least of which include some of the things she has told God she’s thankful for during prayer time.  Like the holes in mommy’s sweatshirt.

Until next time y’all.  I should be getting a report from Carl and Raylene anytime!


Child Logic Quirky Thoughts